Have you ever thought that SAHM (stay-at-home-moms) were lazy? What could they be doing all day?
Have you ever judged a disheveled mom you saw in public and thought, “Sheesh, you couldn’t even brush your hair or change out of leggings before leaving the house?”
Have you ever thought, “You’re mooching off your poor husband. I bet all you do is watch T.V. all day long.”
When I was a couple months postpartum I heard a family friend share his opinion of SAHM, and it confirmed all of my worst fears of what I thought people must think about me. He said he never wanted to marry someone so they could get knocked up and stay home being lazy all day everyday, while he was supporting them financially.
As soon as we got into the car after hearing that, I burst into tears and Jared was more than quick to say, “I know he’s your friend, but that guy is nuts! You work so hard taking care of Cole everyday!”. Hearing my husband lift me up and affirm my new role meant a lot to me, but it also made me wonder how people that don’t have children view parents that stay home with their children…
Before I had Cole I went to college and worked hard to get my degree in public relations with a minor in business marketing (with an emphasis in social media 😉). I had multiple internships, maintained a waitressing job, got married, and we bought our first home – all while I was always taking a full-load of classes. I’m pretty determined, and honestly the farthest thing from a slacker. I’ve always given my all in everything I do.
It wasn’t exactly my plan to be a SAHM so quickly, but my job ended in June when I was 7 months pregnant (awful, I know). We discussed childcare, but my income would have gone straight to childcare (and I was no longer bringing in an income). We also discussed that we liked the idea of our kids being raised by a parent if we could afford it.
I did a little bit of research, and if the average SAHM was being paid for all of her services rendered, she would be earning $162,000 annually. Yep, you read that correctly. You see, moms don’t have “clock in” and “clock out” times. We don’t get lunch breaks, or even bathroom breaks really. We are constantly working hard to not only keep tiny humans alive, but happy and loved.
Here are some things I do every day: laundry, dishes, change approximately 15 diapers DAILY, breastfeed around 14 times DAILY. 2-3 times a week I go grocery shopping and do other random chores like clean other areas of the house. I’m never NOT doing something.
I don’t take naps. I’m not getting my nails done. I don’t get to shower every day. Most days I eat two meals (if I’m lucky).
I’m not complaining, I LOVE my life…but I am working. Really really hard!
Someone asked me what I did for work recently and I sheepishly mumbled, “Oh, I’m just a stay at home mom right now, but I can always find another job…” And the kind, kind woman I was speaking to cut me off and said, “No, don’t you EVER say you are just a stay at home mom! You truly have the hardest job. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!” I had to hold back tears when I heard her say that. I’d been judging myself like I assumed others had been judging me.
When I haven’t showered, it’s because Cole wouldn’t take a nap and I held him instead. When I eat breakfast/lunch at 2pm it’s because I was busy tidying up and feeding Cole and I lost track of time. I put myself last, but that’s when my sweet, sweet hubby tells me to take a bath or hangs with Cole so I can escape to a pedicure. Bless him for being my perfect partner!
Be kind to your neighborhood hot-mess express mama, she’s hustling for her tiny people ❤️